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Pws thatan i zwi an itan san Amerikaniki tainia?


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#1 KaizerSoze

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 01:11 AM

Ksekinaw ena topic gia ola ta apisteyta klise off reality twn amerikanikwn tainiwn:

O maniakos dolofonos pou den stamataei se tipota,panta perpataei arga wste na dinei arketo xrono ston prwtagwnisti na xefeygei teleytaia stigmi

Tin ypothesi panta lynei o pio methysos,paranoikos kai mexri protinos anikanos astynomikos tou tmimatos


Stous agwnes box,pygmaxias,kanoe kayiak (den exei simasia) panta pontare ston Amerikano.Se omadika paixnidia me mpala panta pontare oti oi Amerikanoi tha kerdisoun sto teleytaio deyterolepto


Oi super ekpaideymenoi kai biorobotikoi kakoi einai pragmatika astoxoi otan pyroboloun astynomikous afou panta petyxainoun tin skala,ton toixo ktl.Antitheta o astynomikos synithws skotwnei 8 me 3 sfaires


Spania ta opla twn kalwn alla kai twn kakwn exoun oses sfaires tha eprepe.Sintihtws exoun 3x.Eniote den teleiwnoyn kai pote.Exairountai oi periptwsis face to face monomaxias opou to oploautou pousimadeyei ton allo 99% akrivws ekeini tin stigmi(outekan mia voli prin) menei apo sfaires

#2 Leibniz

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 02:57 AM

De nomizw oti perigrafeis mono amerikanikes tainies. Oles oi tainies autou tou typou sto idio motivo tha kinountai sxedon panta aneksarthtws ths xwras proeleushs. Apla mono oi amerikanoi tis vgazoun me to tsouvali kai mas exei meinei to stereotypo.
Gia tis kollegiakes tainies isws tha mporousame na poume kati omws ;P

#3 dim_b

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 03:17 AM

Things You'd Never Know If It Weren't For the Movies

1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is just what they happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down.

6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

7. If someone says, "I'll be right back", they won't.

8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.

9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit.

10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

13. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head.

14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

16. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

17. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any time of year.

18. The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective, or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

19. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

20. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

21. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

22. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

23. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

24. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

25. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

27. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

27. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

28. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.

29. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

30. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

31. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

32. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

33. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

34. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds- unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

35. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.


αυτά...

PS. Το Νο.7 δεν ισχύει γιά τον Schwarzenegger, ο οποίος ως γνωστόν, πάντα επιστρέφει :P

#4 KaizerSoze

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 10:30 AM

Ayto me tous xenous pou milane Agglika akoma kai metaxy tous einai pou mou tin spaei idietaira (pio poly kai apo aytoi pou xenoi milane monimws agglika p.x. I Lista tou Schidler opou xereis apotin arxi oti olo to ergo einai se "metafrasi") kai paradexomai tainies pou xrisimopoioun tin kanoniki glwssa (p.x. Xoreuontas me tous Lykous)

Merika akoma pou thymithika:

Se kamia omada i apostoli den yparxeipanw apo enas mayros i kinezos i indianos ktl.Paroti meiopsifia ston planiti ,akoma kai stin Ameriki, panta oi leykoi tha einai ta 9/10 tis omadas.Exeresi oi apostoles aytoktonias gia navreis aorato robot-alien stin zougla tou Vietnam opou oi mauroi kanoun wreous stoxous.

Synexeia apoto proigoumeno:Antithtea me to parelthon,pou pontara ta lefta mouoti o mayros tha pethanei prwtos, pleon pontareteoti zei mexri to telos i pethainei teleytaios gia na swsei tin zwi tou leukou irwa.Exoun ginei poly anthektikoi oi mauroi....


O maniakos dolofonos den einai mono maniakos alla kai vionikos afou sto telosepizei apo fwwties,pistolies,maxairwmata wste na epistrepei se 1 i 2xronia sto sequel


Oi sfaires twn astynomikwn oplwn einai poly baries,arketa wste mia sfaira apoena mikro pistoli an petyxei ena kako varous 100 kilwn 10 metra makria na ton exfendonisei


Enw se olo to ergo mia sfaira einai arketi na skotwsei opoiondipote akoma kai an ton petyxei sto podi, sto telos o pligwmenos irwas exei faei kai tis 35 sfaires se oxi zwtiko organo, wste na mporei na patisei to koumpi,skotwsei ton kako, swsei tin gi ktl...Paromoio vevea isxyei kai gia ton kako pou para to xylo kai tis 200 sfaires exei arketi dynami na piasei to oplo kai na apeilisei ton kalo,alla pote tin tayxthta na ton pyrovolisei prin aytos gyrisei na ton skotwsei


Mporeis na afiseis anaisthito ena anthrwpo paneykola xtypwntas to me otidipote sto kefali ,sto laimo,stin mouri ktl.


Analoga me to an thes na peraseis aparatiritos i an thes na ginei xamos, oi antipaloi stratiwtes peftoun anaisthitoi me mia mpounia sto proswpo i meta apo poly xylo (antistoixa)


Otan eisai se kollegio,panta oi fonoi,oi erwtes,oi exafaniseis ktl ginontai se periodo exetasewn

An thymithw kialla tha epanelthw

#5 Aias

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 11:07 AM

Να προσθεσω οτι :Το αμαξι οταν ειναι σε μια στιγμη εντασης και ο πρωταγωνιστης θελει να ξεφυγει απο κατι η καποιον δεν περνει ποτε αμεσως μπροστα , ενω οταν ειναι για καταδιωξη και χρειαζεται οχημα βρισκει αμεσως και φυσικα οι οδηγικες ικανοτητες ξεπερνανε του Σουμαχερ
Οταν πεφτει καποιος σε νερο και γινεται λουτσα μετα απο λιγο ειναι στεγνος ή στην καλυτερη περιπτωση βρεμμενος σαν να τον εχουν ψεκασει με νεροπιστολο για να δροσιστει.

#6 dim_b

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 11:15 AM

Και εννοείται ότι τα αμάξια στην Αμερική (όπως και τα σπίτια άλλωστε*) είναι πάντα ξεκλείδωτα όταν τα χρειάζεσαι. Και, ακόμη και ο πιό άσχετος, μπορεί πάντα να τα βάλει μπροστά ενώνοντας τα καλώδια της μίζας!!!

* Οι πόρτες όταν δεν είναι ξεκλείδωτες, ανοίγουν πάντα με μιά πιστωτική κάρτα ή ένα συνδετήρα (ή σουγιά) ή υπάρχει κάποιο κλειδί "κρυμένο" σε σημείο που ο πρωταγωνιστής μπορεί πολύ εύκολα να μαντέψει.

#7 KaizerSoze

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 12:02 PM

A,xehasa:

Panta yparxei parking mprosta apo to ktirio pou theleis,kai malista arketo gia na to valeis me tin mouri,akoma kai an o ypoloipos dromos den exei oute mia thesi


I prwti antidrasi olwn otan akoune to dolofono na trygyrnaei stin kouzina den einai na paroun tin astynomia i na pane stous geitones alla na katevoun na psaxsoun kai malista sta skoteina ,xwris na anoixoun ta fwta


Otan enas astynomikos analambanei mia ypothesi einai dynaton na einai akmaios kai dynatos xwris na trwei kai na koimatai mia bdomada kai malista einai panta ksyrismenos kai as min exei paei spiti tou


Otan kleveis kapoio amaxi gia na xefygeis,einai dedomeno pws to amaxi exei full rezervouar

A,kai kati ...pikantiko: Akoma kai an kaneis sex me ena agnwsto,min anisixeis!Oxi aplws den exei oute ena afrodisio i kanena AIDS, oxi aplws xerei ti sou aresei kai se eyxaristei alla synithws eiste kai oi dyo toso kaloi erastes pou "teleiwnete" kai oi dyo taytoxrona


Stin pragmatikotita oso pio poly xylo trws toso pio dynatos ginesai,alliws den exigitai oti enw oi ntetektiv,stratiwtes,commando ktl trwne xylo tis arkoudas apo ena 2metro ntaglara , arkei mono mia mpounia sto telos gia na ton xaplwsoun katw


Ola ta fainomenika teleia zeygaria pernane vareta kai asxima,wste i gynaika i o antras na variontai aforita ton panemorfo,pamplouto kai teleio syntrofo tous(allwste pios thelei tin eytyxia e?) gia na mplexoun me kanena apotyximeno,asximoutsiko,zwgrafo tis pentaras i me kamia skylou vizitou

Oles oi gynaikes stin Ameriki pantreyontai sta 17 alliws den exigitai oti i panemorfi 18xroni kori exei 35arides panemorfous goneis


to be continued...

#8 epote

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 01:42 PM

ena uzi exei taxivolia 3000 sfaires to lepto, me to varos ths sfairas sta 50 gramaria (mazi me ton kalika ktl) gia ena lepto pirovolismos thes 150 kila sfaires...

episis otan xalane ta frena phgaineis me pano apo 200 hiliometra thn ora se dromo me strofes oste na mhn mporeseis na stamatiseis katevazontas taxitites para mono xtipontas se kapoio dentro

ta sxedia gia lhsties h leitourgoun teleia h to anapantexo lathos einai akrivos ayto pou prepei

enas pirovolismos apo karampina h colt magnum stelnei to thima se mia ptish 3 metros logo ormhs. fysika aytos pou pirovolise eixe apla mia anadrash sto xeri tou. sinepos prepei aytos pou pirovolise na einai toulaxiston 500 kila oste logo arxi diatirishs ormhs na fygei pros ta piso

to na pidikseis spazontas thn tzamaria tou katastimatos ksefeygontas me mono elaxistes amoixes apo komatia giali varous 10+ kilon pou kovoun san ksirafia einai kati ekseretika synhthes

otan skaei h xeirovomvida dipla ston kako yparxoun aytos somatika anepafos ektoksevete (nekros fysika) 10 metra

otan skaei h xeirovomvida dipla sto kako aytos eksaeronete oloklirotika me ton pio frikiastiko tropo

oi agones mpox apotelounte apo panisxira pentakathara xtipimata sto prosopo kai ta pleyra...gia 15 gyrous

an eisai aravas milas amerikanika me profora ektos apo otan thes na faneis pragmatika kakos opote kai milas th glossa sou

oi eksoghhnoi einai oloi idioi panta gymnoi kai me enieo xroma. fysika einai anthropomorfoi

#9 KaizerSoze

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 02:02 PM

Epipleon oi Exwgiinoi einai gymnoi an kai exoun ypertyexnologia,fainetai den exoun anakalypsei ta rouxa

Akoma ,einai dynaton na pyrovoleis me karampina i akoma kai midralio kratwntas to sto ena xeri xwris na strovilizese/petagese pros ta pisw/antidras,akoma kai an kratas kai allo mydralio sto allo xeri kai pyrovoleis kai malista se diaforetikous xronous.Arkei bebea na legesai Rambo kai na exeis katargisei tin drasi-antidrasi


Min fovasai an peseis apo ena ktirio ypsous 30 metrwn, eite tha peseis stin pisina sto pio bathy simeio tis,bathous 15m, eite se ena skoupidoteneke gemato apo xartia-kai oxi mpoukalia,syrmata,xyla- bathous 10m eite tha se piasei kapoios kai to kyrioteroxwris na spasei i plati sou


O maniakos dolofonos pou se kinigaei giati kati tou eixes kanei prin 10 xronia, tha skotwsei prwta olous tous filous sou xwris logo kai meta tha kinigsei esena.


Kalo einai na min sizitas gia ta sxedia sou meta ton polemo giati einai san na ypografeis tin thanatiki sou katadiki mesa sta epomena 10 lepta


Pida afova se potami apo gremo an se kinigane.Einai sigouro oti tha peseis sto pio bathy simeio kai malista stin perioxi xwris braxia enw to nero tha se parasyrei alla pote den tha se xtypisei sta vraxia


Min fovasai ana nayagiseis,sigoura tha xevrasteis se magiki paralia kai malista zwntanos


An eisai aixmalwtos einai mathimatika bebeo oti o desmofylakas sou einai o pio vlakas kai tha ksegelastei paneykola wste na mporeseis na apodraseis


Einai sxedon sigouro oti ta atyxi peristatika opws na xyseis ton kafe/tin portokalada/ton xymo/to fagito sou oxi aplws den odigoun se neyra alla odigoun se ena megalo erwta.Se oles tis periptwseis ayta ta symvanta symvainoun mono gia atoma diaforetikou fyllou kai malista otan einai panemorfoi kai oi 2

A,kai to agapimeno mou: Oi exwgiinoi an kai proigmenoi texnologika kai politismika einai sigouro oti einai kakoi kai theloun ton planiti.Periptwsi na einai filosofimenoi kai aytarkeis kai na theloun eirinika na broun alles morfes zwis logw akrivws aytis tis tromeris proodou tous den yparxei. Se kanei na anarwtiese:Diladi an eimaste meis aytoi pou tha vroume prwtoiexwgiinous,kai malista an apodeixtoun katwteroi politistika,tha pame na tous katastrepsoume???

to be contunued...

p.s. Oxi oti exei symvei mexri twra alla please as min asxolithoume me tainies pou gnwrizoun tin elafrotita tous.Diladi ta koufa pou symvainoun ston James Bond den exoun sxesi me to topic afou i tainia anagnwrizei tin ilarotita tis.Antitheta oi tainies me ton Rambo aytothewrountai "realistikes"

#10 The_Judas

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 04:12 PM

Πολλά κλισέ περιέχουν και οι ταινίες με χάκερς.

Συνήθως ο χάκερ γράφει πολύ γρήγορα των κώδικά του γιατί ως γνωστόν η ταχύτητα παίζει μεγάλο ρόλο.

Επίσης όταν καταφέρει να σπάσει τον κώδικα των αντιπάλων του το λειτουργικό του βγάζει το μήνυμα SUCCESS ή YOU HAVE BROKEN THE CODE ή YOU HAVE ENTERED THE SYSTEM :D

Τα μηνύματα που δείχνει ο υπολογιστής είναι πάντα τεράστια και καταλαμβάνουν ολόκληρη την οθόνη.

Συνήθως ο χάκερ είναι γνωστός στην πιάτσα και υπάρχουν και πολλά συνέδρια των χάκερς σε δημόσια μέρη και Club.

#11 The_Judas

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 04:20 PM

Επίσης υπάρχει και το κλασικό happy end του έργου , όπου ο πρωταγωνιστής αν και γαζωμένος από χιλιάδες σφαίρες επιζεί με ηρωικό τρόπο , δέχεται το φιλί της κουκλάρας συμπρωταγωνίστριας , αφού προηγουμένως έχει σκοτώσει όλους τους κακούς , έχει σώσει τον πλανήτη από βέβαιη καταστροφή και έχει επιτύχει να εξαφανίσει την παγκόσμια τρομοκρατία ενώ την ίδια στιγμή κυματίζει περήφανα η σημαία των ΗΠΑ :shock:

#12 KaizerSoze

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 04:35 PM

Auto me tin simaia mou thimise kai tin skini apo to T3 kai genika isxyoun akoma:

Otan o palnitis apeileitai swzetai apo Amerikanous.Kamia alli ethnotita den symetexei energa,i toulaxiston ston sxediasmo kai stin omada apostolis


Epipleon otan prokeitai na symvei katastrofi oloi ston planiti to mathainoume apo ton Proedro tis Amerikis kai oxi apo ton ekastote topiko arxonta

O dolofonos/tromokratis/aeropeiratis ktl panta vriskei ligo xrono prin to telos na exigisei ston astynomiko-thyma to sxedio tou,dinontas touarketes plirofories wste otan glitwsei (giati tha glitwsei) na mporei na to stamatisei

Ena pou xehasa,an kai einai poly simantiko: Ton polemo tou Vietnam ton kerdisan oi Amerikanoi (afou se kathe tainia kerdizoun tin maxi,den mporei tou pousti,ton kerdisan ton polemo)

#13 Dreamstorm

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 05:45 PM

toso ksilo efage o mauros sto blade II kai to giali tou itan akoma ekei....otan tros ksilo to tros me style! meta apo ateleiota mpouketa,klotsies,skotomous kai treksimata meta apo 5 lepta den sinevei tpt...
kai kati pio sovaro:
min milisoume fisika gia tis diastimikes tainies pou katariptoun kathe nomo tis fisikis.ennoeitai pos otan petaei ena diastimoploio auto akougetai (ma o ixos den thelei ena meso gia na diadothei?!) kai oi ekriseis panta einai mesa se fwties giati sto sympan iparxei pantou se kathe simeio oksigono gia na ginei i kausi :P ...eksairesi i odysseia tou diastimatos.

#14 Gary

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 05:50 PM

Στις σκηνές στα σχολεία τα παιδιά μαθαίνουν πάντα για την ένδοξη Αμερικανική ιστορία

Κάθε οικογένεια μένει σε διώροφη έπαυλη με γκαζόν και ένα καφέ σκύλο - τα παιδιά παίζουν και φοράνε καπέλα του μπειζμπολ-
ο πατέρας στέλεχος πολυεθνικής και η μητέρα είναι πάντοτε πανέμορφη ψηλή και ξανθιά

Άτομα με ειδικά χαρίσματα – συνήθως παιδιά – αναρωτιούνται συνεχώς γιατί να μην είναι σαν όλους τους άλλους

Σε σκηνή καταδίωξης και ενώ 456.328 κακοί κυνηγάνε το καλό ζευγάρι αυτοί έχουν χρόνο να φιληθούν και να συνειδητοποιήσουν πόσο αγαπιούνται (λες και μέχρι τώρα δεν το ήξεραν)

Πάλι σε σκηνή καταδίωξης ο καλός ως είθισται δεν πυροβολεί αμέσως τον κακό αλλά με ύφος πρωταγωνιστή της Λάμψης και του Καλημέρα Ζωή ταπεινώνει τον κακό εκστομίζοντας σπάνιες φράσεις με συμβολισμούς και φιλοσοφημένα μηνύματα που συναντάς μόνο σε ταινίες του Μπέργκμαν και πάντα περιέχουν το “mother fucker”

#15 KaizerSoze

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Δημοσίευση 03 September 2003 - 06:58 PM

Panta ,otan the bretheis se spiti me fantasma ,exw vrexei kai astraftei

O swstos oikogeniarxis,eite gyrizei stis 11 brady eite stis 10 to prwi spiti,ena ouiskaki tha to piei.